I am Reading...

I am reading Blue Like Jazz.
Last night I got to the part where Donald Miller is having a conversation with Moses and Moses asked him if he was on crack? I haven't laughed that hard for a long time while reading a book.
It still makes me laugh.
I guess I find it so funny because I have been having a few different conversations with some of my friends about being a Christian and how we are feeling these days. It seems to me, that most of us are having growing pains and are really seeking change.
Real change that makes life different.
For years I have said, if you don't love this guy Jesus, why on earth would you sit in the same place every single Sunday going to the same church your whole life. Why not go out and find something that brings passion to your life.
Maybe I know the answer to my own question. Maybe?
Answer: MOVING.....moving from my place in the church and life that makes me comfortable will cost me.
Moving to Haiti is something I have wanted to do for a long time. If it wasn't Haiti, I knew it would be Africa. I love Africa as well.
As a child I was thinking India.
Who knew?
I am pretty sure if I didn't live in a place like Haiti my mom would have lost a bet some where. She has always known I would do something like this. Maybe she didn't want me to, but she knew.
Church is pretty much the same deal.
I always think I would like to go the same church my whole life and sit in the same place every Sunday my whole life like my grandparents.
Well, I think it and laugh. I could never do it. I just don't have it in me.
I need Jesus to be more than that.
Back to moving....
Moving to Haiti has cost us a lot and nothing all at the same time.
Living in passion and destiny sounds so "in-style" when you talk about it at church.
You know the conversation.... follow your heart, be true to yourself.
Depending on the day you say that to me, I may punch you or start crying. It is a mixed bag of emontions for me, so I may say nothing.
But the one thing I want to share after all this is....
I have found a place in Jesus that I have not known. A place that if I whisper His name He is so close I can feel Him with me.
Cost me?
Maybe? I am not sure I have an answer, but I needed to move in order to find him in this way. No, I am not on crack.
He is real, just never real in the way we think He is or should be real.
I don't know what "moving" looks like for you, but I hope you will choose real change, change that makes a difference.