Can I Tell You Something...

Since our return from India I have been in a funny place.
Not funny Ha-Ha, funny like I don't fit in my skin.
Uncomfortable funny.

Half of me thinks I should have a plan, "Phase 2" all laid out and ready to submit for approval.
To who, I don't know.
The other half of me is still numb.

I often think about what I want to say when asked "what we would like to do next".
There is the heart part, the business part and unfortunately the "in-style"part.
More importantly...there is the God part.

Here is some of what has been rolling around in my head.
Ever since I was a kid I have loved this one kind of fabric from India.
There have been hints of it in my clothes, my kitchen towels, place mats, table cloths and my bags.
I was surprised to see this fabric on every working man either as a farmer or a shepherd.
I guess I never really thought about what it was used for.
Don't get me wrong I love all kinds of fabric, but there is this one that I am drawn to for some reason. Without fail I have to stop, look at it, price it and feel it.

It just so happens that on this trip to India, with out me knowing it ahead of time, we went to one of the only two places that is known for making this fabric.
I can either believe that God is up to something or I can blow it off thinking that was weird.
If I believe the God part, I could say He just wanted to bless me with the desires of my heart or I could say, the things in my heart have been put there by God and He is trusting me with something bigger than myself and this crazy love for hand stamped fabric has a greater purpose.

I had a dream.
(No pun on MLK)
Not the dream of my childhood, but a recent one.
My dream was about "Fishers of Men" and "The Message".
Both a play on words.
Get it, fishers of men (people working in created jobs) taking the message (the gospel) via the messenger bag (created from the fabric I love) to people in India by selling messenger bags to create sustainable business.
Dreams however are not always "bankable" or something people are willing to invest in.
They are not generally things you submit in grant proposals expecting funding either.
However, they are lessons in God's character.
Lessons in trusting that there has to be a bigger plan than what I know right now.
I have to believe that God is good, He loves me, I have had these dreams since childhood for a reason and He is working to bring them from heaven to earth.
Not just for me, but for many.

It isn't the fabrics that are outlined with a cotton-tipped bamboo stick and dyed in vegetable or mineral colours. Nor, is it the process that involves washing, rinsing, soaking and bleaching muslin, and applying mordants and dyes using natural substances like indigo for blue, madder for red, mango bark and dried myrobalan fruit for yellow, palm sugar and rusted iron for black.
No, it is for the love He has for people, the ones he died for 5000 years ago.

Our pastor says, pay attention to the things that make you cry, because they are the things most dear to the Lords heart.