Little Did I Know

October 16, 2000
Looking back over the well worn pages in my journal I have to laugh.
I am cringing a bit at what I have written.
I have only one redeeming thought in knowing we didn't all have on those matching t-shirts that scream newbie.
My redemption fades quickly however as I am reminded of our thrift store broom stick skirts and fanny packs.
Oh, and let's not forget to mention I had a a huge cold sore right in the middle of my top lip.
I looked like I had a disease.

Having not read the words on these pages for years, I find it interesting that I had the ability "to see" a few striking things.
Now knowing and being the first person to admit, I had no clue, none!

The faces of the Haitian people are first on the list of things that stood out to me.
Each it's own story.
It is an uncomfortable story.
Yet, there is a beauty I have never seen in a white persons face.
Is it the beauty in the blackness and deeply chiseled cheek bones?
Or is it all the deep lines that cause you to get stuck?
These lines are different then the lines of their cheek bones.
They have been worn deeply on their face year after year.
Maybe it's the lifeless eyes that are asking for help.
No matter what it is they are all now talking so loudly you can't hear yourself think.
Well, think rationally anyway.
It is your own nervousness and discomfort that cause you to look away.
You are arguing with yourself and God all at the same time, thinking now might be a good time to get back on the plane and go home before too much more damage has been done to your emotional well being.
There is, at this point, some well being left, or so you think.

It was now clear that by the end of two weeks I would not be the same person.
Little did I know what that was really going to look like.
I often think, if I would have know then what I know now would I have really gone on this trip.
With out a doubt, the answer is...yes.

The Jumping Off Place

Several years ago we had the opportunity to hear John Wimber speak.
He talked about a swimming pool and the Lord telling him to jump.
The argument began in his mind about needing to see the water first and the Lord saying, no, jump and it will be there.

I have lost track of the number of times this has been true in my life.
But, this is the very place I am at again, the jumping off place.

For ten years I have been collecting stories in the back of my head thinking, some day I will have time to write them down.
I don't know if the day will ever really come that I have a ton of extra time on my hands, but I think I am finally at a place to collect the stories floating around and make room for other things.
Some stories are really crazy, some sad and some life changing.
Yet, each one is mine and has been shared with some pretty amazing people along the way.

I am pretty sure when Ruth's husband died she wasn't thinking, hey, this falls right in place with my destiny.
After all this was a forced transition in her life.
I know she loved her mother-in-la but she was picking up every one's left overs in order to have provision for her daily needs.
But, it was working, she was finding all that she needed.

I get her life.
Truthfully, I love her story and have spent a great deal of time in her little book.
Her destiny showed up in the most unconventional way.
A foreigner collecting remnants in a field.
A covenant made with a sandal.
Sleeping at the feet of a guy in order to seal her fate and learn her identity.
I am sure it never crossed her mind that she would some day be in the lineage of a Savior.

For the first few years, getting to Haiti was tricky, the only way I got there was to have a garage sale.
A garages sale with other peoples stuff that they would donate to us.
We would fill the garage, sort it, fold it and sell it.
None of it ever seemed as spiritual as gleaning the fields but it was the exact same thing.
God was proving for us to walk out the steps he had ordered for us.
Without fail it worked every single time.
I never come home with money in my pocket but everything we needed was taken care of.

Was there a Boaz asking, who are you?
Sure, it was a time of learning who I was and what I was called to do.
Was there a baby? Lots of them.
A Naomi, yes and no depending on how you look at her role in the story.
Did it make any sense to me? No, none of it.

Looking back over those years of sorting (gleaning) I never had to buy much in the way of clothes for my children or myself because so many things came through donations for garage sales.
Another provision.
We were a young family, three children, one income and the Lord was making a way for us to take baby steps toward the bigger picture.
We had no clue there was a sewing school to come or that we would be living in Haiti full time someday.
I just knew I had a deep passion for what I had seen, yet it took several years for us to figure out exactly what we really wanted to do.
What was God saying?
Let's just say we were not one of those families that makes one trip, sells everything so they can return to their calling a month later.
No, much like Ruth and John Wimber we have made many steps in life at that jumping off place hoping for water, relieved to find it there.
In no way have we got it all figured out.
Jumping at times now feels more like an adventure and we don't have to hold our breath as much.

So, I hope that you will enjoy some of my short stories as I begin to move them from one file to antoher.
I hope that you will see the common thread of the Lord's faithfullness and His great humor.

Jumping....