I am not really sure I have that much to say.
Yet, I admit, it is one of those things I keep tucked away in the back of my mind.
At this point, it is just like going on a diet... someday I am gonna do it.
Really I am! I tell myself every few days, I am gonna do it!
I remember taking a writing class in summer school when I was in junior high.
I was really intimidated, terrified actually.
Some how I found myself sitting in a classroom at the worst public high school in north Minneapolis.
I still wonder how I got there?
My mother must have threatened me.
My brother and I had been going to Forth Baptist Christian school after my parents took us out of public school when I was in fifth grade. That was the same year I told her my brain was full and I couldn't learn any more math.
She didn't budge on the homework deal even when I laid on the dining room floor and cried.
This was also around the time that all well informed Christians started breaking their records into little pieces or better yet burning them because of the subliminal messages the rock bands put in their music.
In one afternoon, Chicago, Elton John, Neil Diamond, Carole King - gone, just like that.
I vaguely remember walking down the hallway, I was in culture shock.
Even then I was different.
I remember because the teacher wrote a note to my mom telling her I was.
He said something about "refreshing".
I just figured it was because I wasn't pregnant and didn't swear.
I was just happy to be done with summer school.
I have been thinking about the words of my oldest child, Aaron.
He had been following me around the house as I put a few things away while getting ready for Christmas Eve dinner.
He was an early Christmas present that I picked up at the airport.
I love the kind of presents you can't wrap!
He is twenty seven, graduated from college with a degree in theater, living in Austin to pursue his dream of being an actor.
I tease him that he is really following Sandra Bullock around because he had a crush on her when he was younger.
That was after he had a crush on Cindi Lauper.
He isn't' talking about crushes anymore, although he did mention this girl that he dates off and on that he described as strange.
This isn't really a great thing to say, I tell him.
The first time you bring a girl here for us to meet we are all going to be wondering if she is the "strange one".
When we see each other we talk about our favorite books, movies and our passions.
He talked about the new screen play he had finished and just happened to mention he was moving to LA as part of the next step in becoming an actor.
This prompted him to show me his new black journal with his perfect hand writing.
So, I showed him my twenty-five cent spiral bound note book I got in the clearance section of school supplies last summer.
It is crammed full of random papers, e-mails, dreams and colored pictures from Parker, all stapled in so I wouldn't keep dropping them.
I admitted I have always really wanted one of those leather journals with the ties that go around it, I also admit that I didn't really think I would ever use it.
They are way too nice.
Next he said the thing I have been thinking about - you should give yourself one hour a day.
It sounds easy enough - right.
Out of the clear blue this thought comes to me about cows having four stomachs.
They chew on something over and over again.
Americans tend to be the fast food, get 'er done type.
For me, for now, I am thinking about writing one hour a day, and the dreaded diet idea...over and over again.
I sat down this morning, still chewing, with my cup of coffee to start writing for an hour, I am torn.
I could be reading, I would much rather be reading.
I love the book I am reading and I never seem to have enough time to read.
The hour has gone much faster than I expected.
Maybe Aaron was right - I should give myself one hour a day.
By continuing my blog I won't be messing up a really nice journal or dropping any pages.
We'll see.......I am still chewing on it.
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