The Gong Show

DISCLAIMER: You should know this blog has nothing to do with my cell phone that John lost or the $3800 cell phone bill that went along with John "misplacing" my phone. Nor does it have any thing to do with the fact that I wrongly accused John of eating the apple crisp out of my fridge when, in fact, it was Jess and Brittany. John said, he would have only eaten it if it was on the counter. Who knew that I had other people in my life that are "cake top eaters".

So, now that we have that all cleared up, you may be asking yourself why I am writing a blog about John and The Gong Show. Truthfully, I am beginning to wonder if John is really John. I remember watching The Gong Show over summer vacation while growing up in Minnesota. Even at age eight I remember thinking that Chuck Barris was a bit odd with his strange laughter, goofy hair and black tux. He was always swinging his hands balled up in a fist around in a circle pointing with his index fingers while looking off to the side where is panel of celebrity guests sat.
You see a few weeks ago, John, well I think it was John, started a conversation about The Gong Show. I started to laugh when the picture of Chuck Barris came crashing into my mind. I was now standing in front of this guy with the same curly hair, the same finger pointing thing and the crazy backwards laughter. When all of a sudden he just happens to mention his favorite episode on The Gong show was the one where people spit in the cup and Chuck drinks it. The look on my face must not have been the best because he started doing his backwards laughing thing.

Argument One: As Jess and I stood in John's office a few days later he began to ask questions about his fountain and why the water supply had gone down. Before we could give him an answer he started to spit in his fountain in order to fill it up, asking us if we would spit in it to help the cause. Um, No!! We quickly left, letting him fill his fountain as his backwards laughter filled the room.

Argument Two: Again, in John's office, he was doing some cleaning, which I find funny in itself, because we all know about John's shower and clothing issues. Not to mention, he will randomly comb his hair with his fork. His cleaning style is what we should enter as evidence in this case. It involved, you guessed it, spitting. As he looked around the office he noticed a cup sitting out and said, thinking out loud, is this clean? Not really needing or wanting my answer, he spit in the cup and wiped it out with his shirt. He than added the cup back in the stack mixing the cups up so no one would guess which one it was.
Final Argument: I had just finished my lessons with Baby and John walked in with a cup of homemade ice cream. I casually asked, what are you eating, John? Ah, Ah, Ah... are the words that came out of his mouth as he began to slowly back away. Suddenly he spit in his cup and said, to me, Jess and Baby, "ice cream, do you want some"? Spitting not only once, twice, but three times to make sure none of us said yes. He was soon doing the backwards laughing thing while enjoying his ice cream and going back to his office offering some of his Twizzler stash to make up for it.

I rest my case. They jury is out - is John really John or is he in fact Chuck Barris. Think about it! You can't even find a picture of Chuck Barris in his bio on the internet,just like you can't get John to let you take a picture of him.